A (Not So) Random Thought: What if...

Of course, I really shouldn't be thinking about any of this as much as I am, but, I am.  Last night, in the wee hours of the morning, I lay awake feeling generally older than I am and listening to the pulse in my foot (ankle?), thinking.   

What if...

What if some of the symptoms I am experiencing are from the study drug (read:  the Montelukast, not placebo)?


This is where a visit to the great Dr. Google is so enticing, and would most certainly yield some very definitive answers, I am sure -- but I promised myself at the outset of the investigational study that I would not do that, and I will not.  But, it would be so easy.  Montelukast Side Effects

As Montelukast (also known as Singulair) is a drug Susan now takes, I could certainly justify such research in my own mind, but I would know that (not even so deep down), my curiosity is not driven by the fact that Susan is taking it.  If I were a really good, curious, diligent parent, I would already have done that, but...I didn't, and I will not now.  

The truth of the matter is that when Susan's allergist proposed adding Singulair to her list of medications after Susan's third anaphylactic reaction to a maintenance dose of peanut, I didn't ask a lot of questions.  Sure, I knew that Singulair had been linked to mood changes, depression and even (reportedly) the onset of personality disorders...and even to suicidal thoughts and behaviors -- particularly in adolescents.  But I also knew Susan desperately wanted to be able to continue her oral immunotherapy (OIT) for peanut, and I felt the benefit of the safer, freer life she was pursuing outweighed the mental health risk...and without any research into or consideration of side-effects, we added it to her daily medication and supplement regime.  That insert that comes with every refill?  I've never read it.  And as tempting as it was to read it when I refilled Susan's prescription last week, I didn't -- feeding it, instead, directly into our shredder.

And -- dare I even write it?  Singular seems to have worked, as Susan has not had a reaction (anaphylactic or other) to her peanut dose since. 


So, I am left wondering.
What if some of the symptoms I am experiencing are from the study drug (read:  the Montelukast, not placebo)?

(What if a giant paradigm shift is in order here?)


-- What if the headache that started about forty-eight hours after my first dose of the study drug, intensifying in the hours immediately following the gluten challenge and then hanging on for a week, following me around like a shadow -- increasing, ebbing, and then finally, mercifully, slipping away -- is not related to the fact that I ate gluten but is instead a side effect of the Montelukast?

-- What if the fatigue that I am dragging around, like a boat anchor, is not from my on-going exposure to gluten but a side-effect of the Montelukast?  And here I need to issue a foreshadowing & spoiler alert, for in the blog post entitled Time Capsule, which is scheduled to post on November 8, 2016, the last day of my enrollment in the investigational study, I wrote about the fatigue that hit me hard on the morning I took the second dose of the study drug -- before the gluten challenge.

-- What if the nausea -- that sneaky feeling that washes over me, suddenly, hot, sweaty, filling the space under my tongue with saliva unlike any other...saliva that I must swallow hard, carefully, all while taking big, deep, cooling breaths is not somehow related to my consumption of gluten, but instead a side-effect of the Montelukast?  

-- What if the dizziness that comes over me unexpectedly, making me pause to steady myself, stilling my body while it washes over me and is then gone nearly as quickly as it comes isn't so much related to the nausea, to my daily consumption of gluten, as it is a side-effect of the Montelukast?

-- What if the hoarseness -- that froggy voice that hearkens the onset of a cold for many -- that even I can now hear, is not somehow related to my consumption of gluten, but instead a side-effect of the Montelukast?  

I've never been one to take a lot of medication, but over the years, I have heard and read enough about various medications to know that medication side-effects are not at all uncommon.  And, when I look over my particular list, I think most (if not all of these) are fairly common side-effects in medication.

I'm not sure quite what to think about my foot/ankle and the joint pain, but if I set those aside, and I separate all of the symptoms I am having that could be side effects of the study drug, the Montelukast, apart from the gastrointestinal symptoms and issues -- which are not great but basically improving, I wonder...

What if...
What if I am getting the Montelukast, and what if it really IS working?